The best way to review 50 Shades of Grey is by a list of 10 sex scenes which contained more sexual tension than the entire movie and, just to make it that bit more of a challenge (but not really), involved less nudity:
1. Leo and Kate steamy in the carriage in Titanic.
2. The Wolf of Wallstreet 'Does Daddy want some?' scene.
3. Pretty much any moment in American Pie.
4. The piano sex scene in Pretty Woman. Especially great comparison with the totally crap piano sex scene in 50 shades.
5. The Natalie Portman // Mila Kunis fantasy scene in Black Swan.
6. The before battle scene in 300.
7. The rain kiss in The Notebook.
8. Dirty Dancing - any time they dance. Particularly when Baby rubs Johnny's chest.
9. Keira Knightley and James McAvoy in the library in Atonement.
10. The pottery wheel scene in Ghost.
As it turns out trying to make 50 Shades of Grey into a family-friendly teen-focused movie does not work. How could a movie about sex be so boring?
Initial thought was the entire lack of nudity destroyed any sexiness this movie could have hoped for. However, nudity really isn't necessary to make a sex scene sexy - refer to above list. It might have been the total lack of charisma/strength/control exuding from Jamie Dornan. Granted the man is a looker, but he just does not get how to play Christian Grey. The aura from the books is simply absent.
It might have been quite possibly the worst sound track that ever happened to a movie. Particularly note the helicopter journey. Or it might have been the sex scene edits: neck, breast, from chest to navel, leg carefully angled to hide nudity, Grey's tensed ass - cut, repeat.
Entirely honestly the most exciting thing was the hilarity factor of Ana's pubes.
1. Leo and Kate steamy in the carriage in Titanic.
3. Pretty much any moment in American Pie.
4. The piano sex scene in Pretty Woman. Especially great comparison with the totally crap piano sex scene in 50 shades.
5. The Natalie Portman // Mila Kunis fantasy scene in Black Swan.
6. The before battle scene in 300.
7. The rain kiss in The Notebook.
8. Dirty Dancing - any time they dance. Particularly when Baby rubs Johnny's chest.
9. Keira Knightley and James McAvoy in the library in Atonement.
10. The pottery wheel scene in Ghost.
As it turns out trying to make 50 Shades of Grey into a family-friendly teen-focused movie does not work. How could a movie about sex be so boring?
Initial thought was the entire lack of nudity destroyed any sexiness this movie could have hoped for. However, nudity really isn't necessary to make a sex scene sexy - refer to above list. It might have been the total lack of charisma/strength/control exuding from Jamie Dornan. Granted the man is a looker, but he just does not get how to play Christian Grey. The aura from the books is simply absent.
It might have been quite possibly the worst sound track that ever happened to a movie. Particularly note the helicopter journey. Or it might have been the sex scene edits: neck, breast, from chest to navel, leg carefully angled to hide nudity, Grey's tensed ass - cut, repeat.
Entirely honestly the most exciting thing was the hilarity factor of Ana's pubes.
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